Skull and Shackles: The Athenian Experience

The story so far...
At least as I'm concerned

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FRACAS EVENT RECORD - Serial Number: 4NG3V1N3-9003

Failure Reporting Analysis and Corrective Action System
FRACAS EVENT RECORD

Serial Number: 4NG3V1N3-9003
Date: 092/01/69+4793
Time: 09:00:13

Objective: Collect 8 barrels of water
Location: ‘Bonecrack Isle’ (pejorative, Shackles vernacular – no correlation with actual nomenclature)
Scanning Geographical Database = Insufficient Info: 113/0578R4/333
Conducting Manual Hydrologic Survey Protocol
Resource Located: #po09347-90
Resource Contained: Y

Mainframe Downtime Category: Unscheduled
Life Cycle Phase: FAILSAFE OPERATION – Switching to Standby Mode
Relevant: Y
PM: N
Part Number: 650-000029

FSE Name:
Grindylow spp
Birgus latro
Dermatobia hominis
Ankheg spp
Ghoul – Multiple classes
Choker – Viniferous subtype
Anopheles gambiae
Gymnothorax javanicus

FSE Number: Variable
Problem: Power Generator Repair
Action: REPLACE SWITCH, CURE OPTIC LENS 2, ALIGN RESPIRATORY PROBLEMS RECORD, DEFRAG
Reliability Code: ATF-STK-PRI-RT-XAX-001

STATISTICS
Current Status: I
Number of Fails: 3
Number of Assists: 3
Number of Others: 4
Total Events: 8 (9th Event In Process at Scheduled FRACAS Evaluation)
Total Downtime Hours: 8.72
Scheduled Downtime Hours: 8.0
Unscheduled Downtime Hours: 0.72
Outage Duration: 00:43:30:17

System: DMD
Subsystem: XS
Assembly: HRN
Subassembly: M3S
Sub-subassembly:
Reliability Code: DMD-XS-HRN-M3S-002

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Talking points from the D-dog

had a rough start.
management doesn’t seem to like me. this is confusing.
they are undervaluing their core competencies
will have to talk to the current head of HR. maybe make some changes.

starting to assemble the crew.
lost our numbers/motivational person to a suspicious barrel incident.
made some necessary cuts to prevent future losses.
currently headhunting a replacement. got a number of new applicants.
one in particular looks promising. has a good face for it?

all for now.
remember to feed your eagle.

peace.

drakkar noir,
future CEO
the shackles

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ENTER THE STEW

CRABCLAW STEW WOKE UP IN A STINKIN' BILGE WITH SOME SOGGY SEA-CHUMPS.

SOMEONE TOOK CRABCLAW'S HAT.

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO CRABCLAW STEW?

SOME WEEVIL EATIN' FREEBOOTER STARTED CRACKIN HIS WHIP AND MAKIN' LIEK HE WAS CRABCLAW'S NEW CAP'N. NARRRRR. CRABCLAW'S GONNA EAT THIS PIGGY.

CRABCLAW STEW WOKE UP ON A STINKIN DECK SURROUNDED BY BILGE SWILLIN' PRIVATEERS.

THEY GAVE CRABCLAW STEW A MOP AND TOLD HIM TO SWAB THE POOP. CRABCLAW OBEYSFOR NOW

CRABCLAW WAITS.

CRABCLAW PLANS.

YAAARRR. CRABCLAW'S DAY WILL COME.

CRABCLAW STEW IS THE BEST SWAB EVER TO SAIL THE SEVEN SEAS.

CRABCLAW FOUND SOME SEAWEED.

CRABCLAW CONVINCED ONE OF THE LANDLUBBIN' MONKEYS WORKIN THE GALLEY TO TRADE JOBS. YAAARRR.

CRABCLAW IMPRESSES THE CAP'N WITH HIS PIG SURPRISE. CRABCLAW SPOILED THE RUM.

THEY SAY CRABCLAW'S GOTTA FIGHT OWLBEAR. CRABCLAW'S GONNA HAMMER THIS YELLOW BELLIED BILGEWORM INTO THE DE

CRABCLAW STEW WOKE UP ON THE SAME STINKIN' SHIP STILL SURROUNDED BY SCURVY INFESTED BLAGGARDS.

CRABCLAW WAITS.

CRABCLAW PLANS.

CRABCLAW COLLECTED SOME FINGERS.

THEY SENT CRABCLAW AND SOME HOOMANS INTO THE DRINK TO COLLECT THE CAP'NS DINNER.

CRAB BATTLE

YAAARR. CRABCLAW SKEWERED 4 BEEFCLAWS ON HIS SPEAR. THE HOOMANS SWAM IN CIRCLES AND MOSTLY DROWNED.

CRABCLAW STEW'S HAD WORSE GIGS.

CRABCLAW CONVINCED SALTY-HOOMAN TO TRADE JOBS. CRABCLAW STEW IS LORD OF THE RIGGING. YAAARRR.

A BARREL FELL ON SALTY-HOOMAN DOWN IN CRABCLAW'S BILGE. SALTY-HOOMAN GOT ITSELF FLATTENED. SALTY-HOOMAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN BIG LIEK CRABCLAW STEW.

THEY TOLD CRABCLAW TO TAKE A FAT TUB OF A SHIP. YAAARR. FINALLY SOME PROPER PIRATING. SOME OF THE HOOMANS WENT TOO BUT MOSTLY THEY SWAM IN CIRCLES AND DROWNED.

CRABCLAW PICKED UP THE BOW LEGGED MATE AND DROPPED HIM OV'R THE POOP. YAAAR. NOW HIM AND HIS STUPID POKING STICK AAARR SHARK FOOD.

CAP'N HAAAARRGAN AWARDED CRABCLAW A MEDAL FOR HIS OUTSTANDING PIRATIN'.

YAR.

THIS CAP'N HAAARGAN AIN'T SO BAD.

CRABCLAW WAITS.

CRABCLAW PLANS.

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